“Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:26–27 ESV)
Trinity
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. (John 1:1) There is a majesty and wonder in this verse that goes beyond rational explanation. Yet it is true.
God is a community: a unity where three persons share each other in common; a common unity; a community. The Word, Jesus, is said to be with God and is said to be God at the same time.
The word Trinity is used describe this concept that we see in scripture, that God is one, and yet God the Father is God, as is God the Son, as is God the Holy Spirit. We see the three in the baptism of Jesus (Matt 3:16–17), Jesus commands us to baptize in the name of all three (Matt 28:19), and all three are present in Creation in Genesis 1:1–3 with God Father expressed as the actor, the Spirit of God hovering over the waters as the agent, and Jesus is expressed as God’s Word when he utters “Let there be…” (John 1:1).
In the baptism we see God expressing his love for the son, in John 15 we read about how Jesus abides in the father, about how he and the Father are one, and about how the Spirit proceeds from the Father and testifies about the Son. Each one of them is in relationship with the other testifying, pointing, loving, enjoying, affirming the other.
There is a oneness to God, for it is said, “Hear, O Israel, the Lord your God, the Lord is one” (Deut 6:4). Yet in the beginning, God says “Let US make man in OUR image” (Gen 1:26). God is a community. And from eternity past to eternity future God the Father, the Son, and the Spirit have, do, and will exist in unity and in love. God is Love precisely because God is community. There is a precious love that is unlike any love we experience on earth.
But this can be hard to comprehend. How can God be three in one? Yet God says something similar in marriage; he says that when two are married, they become one flesh (Gen 2:24). The mystery of God’s triunity extends, therefore, into marriage.
Imago Dei
God created mankind in his image. What does that mean? We are familiar with the idea of the image of God, but perhaps it takes some meditation to really hone in on the uniqueness of it. The question I like to ask is, “What can humans do that the rest of the animal kingdom cannot do?”
- Creativity: many animals, such as birds, can be said to make things, but only humans express artistic creativity, fashioning things not only with useful function, but beautiful form.
- Authority: there are surely hierarchies in the animal kingdom, but the authority that God shares with us extends beyond ourselves into greater communities, and into the rest of created order as well.
- Love: God saw what he had made and he said it was very Good (Gen 1:31). He distinguishes good from evil, and he loves and preserves that which is good. We also have a propensity to act on love, to cherish that which is good and beautiful, and even to sacrifice for those we love.
- Community: God is a community, and it is said, “It is not good for Man to be alone” (Gen 2:18). We as people, whether we are introverts or extroverts, long to be connected to people and to be accepted by people. We long for community, and we long to be known.
Marriage is perhaps the quintessential relationship in which we reflect God’s image in terms of the Trinity. In Marriage, it is said that two become one. There is a community with God, the Husband, and the Wife, that is special and more intimate than any relationship we will experience otherwise.
So if God, in the trinity, exists in a community in which there is complete knowledge and unity, constant affirmation, endless love, and the deepest intimacy, perhaps marriage is made to be a journey toward these things. I believe that God has intended that marriage be a relationship in which our goal is to enjoy and display the deepest and most profound sense of being known and accepted and love that one can experience in any earthly relationship. In marriage, your role is to be a unique and special minister who, among the 8 billion people on earth, is the one who is able to demonstrate God’s love and intimacy to your spouse. Marriage should be the safest, warmest, most joy-filled, and most sanctifying relationship we experience.
Is every marriage like this? No. But I believe it is a hope that God invites us to hold on to, no matter how long it takes. A hope, like with Abraham, we may be yet holding on to upon death, but a hope, for those who are believers that we can work towards in expectation of better things.
Dominion
The command for dominion reveals why the marriage has such a critical impact on society. The very first commands are to be fruitful and to multiply, and to have dominion (Gen 1:28). We are to multiply, we are to increase in number, and we are to exercise authority. Basically, we are to build a society and we are to shepherd the assets we have. This means that marriage is the foundational building block for society and for all organizations and authority structures.
A stretch? Maybe. But think about this. In the home, we have a husband who is to be the head of the house, the wife, his first love and the completion of his oneness, and their children who they are to manage and shepherd and grow. In any organization we have the headship of a leader, we have those who are subject to the head, but are participants in leadership, and we have those over whom they exercise authority. Even nations have headship, a leadership structure, and the many over whom their leadership exists to protect and guide.
If society is an organism, perhaps the family is the cell unit. Consider even the church. Every church, like any organization, has a culture and a heartbeat. Some are healthy and some are growing, and some are dying. If the cells of the church, the marriages, especially those in leadership, are unhealthy, the church itself cannot grow an intimate, safe, and healthy culture.
I want to see a church culture in which outsiders come in and are amazed at the love and safety they feel in the community of the faithful. A community that is unlike any earthly community, because it is surrendered to Jesus the King, and is bent on love and service. Isn’t that what Jesus said? that people would know us by our love for one another (John 13:34–35)?
Goodness
Marriage is very good. God said so. Perhaps your marriage doesn’t feel very good right now. Many marriages don’t. I don’t want to delude you into thinking that your marriage is something that it isn’t. But what I do want to do is ask you to trust God. As believers we can trust God and accept the hope he has promised us. That means that even though my marriage is not very good now, I can live in the hope and expectation that it can be, and it should be. And I can work confidently toward that end because I know that it is God working in and through my marriage to sanctify both me and my wife.
Both my wife and I have wounds, expectations, fears, pride, habits, and sin that taint our marriage and make it less than it could be. But Jesus can step in and heal those wounds, adjust the expectations, comfort the fears, take down the pride, offer new habits, and turn our hearts from the sin that makes our marriage such as it is. It doesn’t happen all at once, but one step at a time. And If we can link arms with our spouse, and move toward what God has for us, and move toward each other, we can step toward the marriage God has intended us to have. And others will see it.
Delight
For this week, our focus is delight. A good one right!? We aren’t focusing on forgiveness right away, or confessing your darkest sin, or changing your most annoying habits, but focusing on delight. Here is what I mean:
Within the Trinity, the Father delights in the Son and the Spirit, the Son delights in the Father and the Spirit, and the Spirit delights in the Father and the Son. They don’t just love each other because they are supposed to. They love each other and they enjoy each other on the deepest level.
As husband and wife, God has meant us to be one. Paul writes that a man doesn’t hate his own flesh, but loves it and cherishes it (Eph 5:29). Let us begin with truth from scripture. Perhaps you think to yourself, “but my spouse is not delightful.” Yet God delights in your spouse, because your spouse has been bought with a price, a precious price, to be one of the household of God. Therefore, I want us to practice delighting and enjoying one another.
Couch Time is a 10-minute little sabbath during every day, when you sit on a couch, (or anywhere you can take a break from your daily grind and pay attention to one another), and you focus on nothing but spending time with your spouse. This week, I want you to begin practicing couch time. Put it in your calendar, mark the time, and do it. This is a required assignment!
During couch time, Share what you delight in about your spouse. Refrain at this time talking about issues, kids, finances, or anything stressful. If it helps, write down the stresses that are bothering you and set the paper aside. there is another time for discussing those. For this week, get to know one another more. Share what you delight in. Also, be curious. Ask questions, and decide to learn something new about your spouse. Yes, even if you have been married 50 years, there are things you don’t yet know. Make this as light hearted as possible. We will talk about some topics to discuss when we meet up on Thursday, but if you want to get started sooner, simply bring to mind fond memories you have with each other and remember them together, or ask about childhood stories that you may not have heard before. Ask about each other’s favorite foods or movies. Don’t judge, just be curious, and look for what is delightful!